The house help stole my Cake! A comedy of Errors.

 The  house help stole my Cake! A comedy of Errors.

I was looking through my pics to create a reel for my birthday and I saw the picture below and I bursted out laughing to my self.

We were all enamoured at this technical piece of a sewing machine my sister made for my 50th. After the party, I decided to keep the top layer and the machine until the next weekend, we carefully wrapped it and put on the bottom shelf of the fridge.

Alas the day came and I went to bring out the rest of the cake and it had vanished. In shock I started looking up down and all around saying "aha didn't I keep this cake here"!

I called the maiguard ( Hausa pidgin for a person employed to guard the house) the maiguard was another personality I cannot explain(he said he had no wife and was a Christian yet different female personalities were sneaking out in the morning time)as for the driver (what we term chauffeur in saner climes) he was in a kingdom of his own! All three of them were a circus or should I say a comedy of errors! My driver's aura or should I say 'ayika or surrounding' was so pungent that we could not use the AC in the vehicle, I bought him soap and Sure deodorant. I remember my precocious sons(one of them was always correcting his English teacher while the older one was correcting the maths teacher Oyinbo children) and I debating whether he needed Colgate or Sure! He told me later that he only (fin Sa so ) sprayed on his clothes when going out with his (madamu) wife on Sunday!

Back to the cake, I called all three members of the circus, immediately the so called Christian maiguard told me that the house help stole the cake! He said when he asked her she said, I said she should take it!

To be honest I decided to leave them alone as my son used to say to me, "Mummy calm down, there's too many of them and too few of us"

I did not tell the lady to leave as the next one may be (worst) Naija speak for very very bad. After all the one I had before who was stealing video game ran away because I threatened to registered him in a school! I really wanted to help him as on one occasion I sent him to Goodies supermarket with a list, lamb chops, mincemeat etc, I told him to give an attendant the list, after 4 awas (hours) he returned with nothing! Looking back I think they go to a training school for lies, petty theft and the art of confusing your employer! Such are the clowns that many a hard working Nigerian family employ and provide a kind of social security for.

These clowns taught me the true meaning of the word 'frustration'.

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